92 Romantic Ideas for Couples to Share
Have a look at Michael Webb's useful eBook "1000 Questions for Couples". You can test your compatibility and grow deeper in love. Handy for those dating, married or even in a long distance relationship. It's worth a peek!
I believe there is something very satisfying and romantic about mutually shared romantic ideas. Planning and enjoying an event together can bring you closer together as a couple. It is also a good way to get clear about your partner's likes and dislikes for when you might want to treat them to a romantic surprise or special occasion.
1. Go on a picnic. Packing up a basket of goodies and traipsing off to view a sunset or a great view is one of the classic romantic ideas. Lousy weather? Not to worry! Spread a blanket or classic red and white checkered tablecloth on the floor of your home and enjoy the Great Indoors! Other Romantic Picnic Ideas.
2. Watch romantic movies while cuddling. Popcorn optional.
3. Watch shooting stars and meteor showers. Stargazing is always very romantic idea. Maybe it's all of those "starry-eyed" looks between the "star-crossed" lovers. Bring along a bottle of wine or sparkling water to share. Romantic Snack Ideas
4. Take a scented romantic bath together. This is perhaps my all-time favorite of all romantic ideas. Relaxing together in a scented cocoon of fragrant water can’t help but enhance the romance in your love relationship. More romantic bath ideas.
5. Make a scrapbook filled with photographs and mementos like ticket stubs, programs from events and brochures from places you’ve visited. Include a few romantic love notes that you’ve exchanged in your life together. It will be a keepsake that you will treasure forever. If you really get into this, make one each year as part of celebrating your wedding anniversary.
6. Go to a carnival or County Fair and ride the ferris wheel, eat cotton candy and walk through the fun-house. If they have a “Tunnel of Love”, don’t miss it!
7. Create a Love Slave Jar.
8. Feed each other grapes, blueberries or raspberries. Toss them into each other’s mouths if you dare and your couch isn’t white.
9. Paint each other with soap body paint. Do this in the shower or bath. Slip and slide. Rinse. Repeat.
10. Rent a houseboat and spend a romantic weekend on the water.
11. Here's a romantic idea for the Holidaze: Hold hands and go window shopping or walk somewhere with lots of pretty lights. Christmas time is great for this. Kiss under the mistletoe. Resist the urge to purchase things but notice carefully what your love is interested in. You can sneak back later while they’re decorating the tree or recovering from too much eggnog. (Hey! It happens…)
12. Prepare a feast. Using only your hands, eat slowly while gazing into each other’s eyes (a la the movie Tom Jones) Devour your love with your eyes. Feed each other.
13. Share your food with your beloved when you eat out in a restaurant.
14. Always celebrate the anniversary of the day you met. If someone you know introduced you, send them a “thank you” note every year on the day. Find other “anniversaries” to celebrate.
15. Take a shower or romantic bath by candlelight. Use a luffa or big sea sponge to scrub each other’s backs.
16. Get a good strong rope about 30 feet long or so. Tie a big knot in it. Cut a piece of sturdy plywood into a butt-sized circle with a hole in the center big enough to thread the rope through. Go on a hike until you find a tree with a hanging out branch way up high. Throw the end of the rope over the branch and tie off securely. Take turns on your new rope swing. Leave it there for others to find and visit it again some day.
17. WARNING! Tasty Romantic Idea but STICKY: Make love with chocolate syrup, honey and or whipped cream on selected body parts.
18. WARNING! Yummy Romantic Idea but STICKY: Mix up lots and LOTS of Jello. Put it in your bathtub until firm. Jump in with your partner. Slip and slide. WooHoo!
19. Plant a garden with your sweetheart. From browsing the seed catalogues or nursery aisles to preparing the soil and planting: nurture it and watch it grow along with your love.
20. Go see an art exhibit or museum show together. Keep up with traveling exhibits and other special events that come through your town. Make them into romantic excursions.
21. Hire a “bicycle built for two” and go for a ride. (Daisy, Daisy...)
22. A Very Romantic Idea! Go for a hot air balloon ride. Don’t forget the Mimosas! (Equal parts Champagne and Orange Juice)
23. Bake something together. Romantic recipes.
24. Organize a dinner party together for close friends. Plan, shop, cook and host it together as a team.
25. If it’s been a while, why not renew your vows? Revisiting your commitment to one another is a sweetly romantic idea.
26. Go bowling or shoot some pool. Play darts or backgammon at a pub.
27. When you go through the automatic carwash together, pretend it is the Tunnel of Love. Make Out!
28. Splurge on an overnight stay in a five star hotel in your town. The money you save on transportation costs can be put to good use in spa treatments, room service and decadent treats. Such a sensible romantic idea!
29. Book a night in a seedy motel on the outskirts of town. Pretend you are having an illicit affair. Order Chinese take-out and BYOB.
30. When staying at a lake front or beach resort, sneak out at night with your mate and go skinny dipping.
31. Take dance lessons together. Choose a style of dance that is appealing to both of you. Practice frequently and get as good as you can be. This is not only great fun but it is also Great Exercise! Be the couple that everyone stops for and stands back to watch.
32. Go out dancing. Spend the evening dancing. Be it ballroom, salsa, swing, disco, jazz or blues- Follow the music and dance to your dreams!
33. Look at the stars through a telescope. See how fake Saturn looks. Tell each other your secret wishes.
34. Go with the flow. Have a spontaneous romantic evening. Don’t have anything preplanned except to spend time together. See where the wind takes you.
35. Take a sauna or a steam bath together. Pour a bucket of cool water over your partner. Feels great!
36. Go to a nude beach together.
37. Collect meaningful trinkets, love notes and letters and other nostalgic memorabilia from your relationship. Bury it in a “Time Capsule”. Remember to make a map to store in your safe or safety deposit box. Date the map and agree on a date in the future when you will dig up your romantic treasure box.
38. Burn a CD of your favorite “couple” songs. They can be romantic love songs or any music that you both like. Keep it handy for playing during especially romantic times.
39. Always stop at those photo booths in malls to take some fun pictures with your sweetheart. Tuck them around here and there for an instant giggle.
40. Plant a tree with your beloved. Make a plan to carve your initials in it when it gets big. Plant it near a place where you can enjoy a picnic, a sunset or cloud or stargazing.
41. Name a star together. Know that even when you are apart, you can both always gaze at “your” star and think of one another. (Somewhere Out There)
Read more: http://www.romantic-ideas-online.com/romantic-ideas-for-couples-to-share.html#ixzz1szH4BBS7
MORE Romantic Ideas for Couples to Share
42. Here is one of the romantic ideas that virtually ANYONE would enjoy! Have a Home Spa Day or Evening. Create the spa atmosphere with big fluffy towels and robes, soothing aromatherapy bath salts or fragrant shower scrubs, scented beeswax candles, therapeutic essential oils, romantic mood music and other relaxation products.
43. Go to a local coffee shop and “hang out”. Hold hands while you chat and sip. Make up funny long drink names (Triple Tall Half Caf 180 degree Americano with Steamed Heavy Whip and one pump of chocolate)
44. Mothers and Mother-in-Laws like this romantic idea if you are willing to share... Frame and display lots of your favorite “couple” pictures of the two of you. (This is useful feng shui for relationships.)
45. Have a separate calendar for your romantic date ideas and plans. Choose one with romance as the theme. Record lots of details on the calendar of what you did as well as future plans. Save it as a romantic keepsake when the year is through.
46. Use a blue, green or red light bulb in place of your usual white lighting in the bedroom for something a little different. (Romantic Ideas for Color Therapy)
47. Meet your sweetheart at the mall. Armed with $10.00 each and an agreed upon meeting time and place, (don’t make it too long!) split up and find a romantic or seductive item to enhance your romantic evening.
48. For one of the truly Immortal Romantic Ideas :get in the habit of taking your camera with you when you go on special romantic dates. Ask someone to take a picture of the two of you together. Oftentimes you can reciprocate by taking their picture for them.
49. Go wine tasting at one (or more) of your local wineries. Bonus Romantic Idea: Remember to buy a few bottles for enjoying and reminiscing on a future romantic date.
50. Purchase two disposable cameras. Take pictures of each other in silly, serious, loving and romantic poses. Pretend that you are famous models and photographers. Develop them at a one hour photo place and giggle over them while enjoying a glass of wine or dessert.
51. Rent a silly DVD that you have seen before. Watch it in French.
52. Tell your lover all the naughty things you want to do to and with them, but tell them in gibberish and see if they can figure it out! (Some sign language might be helpful here…)
53. Plan a romantic trip together. Do the research, compare and shop around. Half the fun is in the planning!
54. Get a book and go bird-watching together. Learning about your local birds can be fun. Practice imitating their calls.
55. A Romantic Idea for the Adventuresome: Drive to a nearby town. Explore it on foot, walking hand-in-hand with your beloved. Check out the sights and shops. Enjoy a restaurant meal. Order the “Special of the Day”.
56. Plan a picnic on the night of a full moon on a golf course or other wide open spot. A Very Romantic Idea!
57. Plan a midnight date on a sultry summer night. Remember a thick cotton blanket to sit or lie on and a cooler filled with ice cold drinks. Bring along some romantic music if you want to try some Dancing in The Dark.
58. A fun romantic idea: Get a croquet set or some horseshoes. Playing outdoor games together is a fun way to spend time together. Lawn bowling? Shuffleboard? Badminton? Watch the birdie!
59. Keep plenty of tea, hot chocolate, popcorn and snacks around in the winter time for when you want to snuggle up together.
60. To save money on a romantic dinner date, try eating the meal at home and going out for the dessert at a fancy restaurant. Remember to dress up!
61. With your partner, decorate a box or jar with hearts and romantic pictures. Make a habit of throwing your loose change and small bills into it. When enough money accumulates, go on a special romantic date or save it up for a weekend getaway.
62. Enjoy your chiminea, fire pit or patio stove in the early spring or late fall for a cozy “cuddlefest”.
63. Spooky Romantic Ideas: On Halloween, carve “his and her” pumpkins. Dress up to match each other’s costumes: Bonnie & Clyde, Biker Dude & Biker Mama, Guenivere & Lancelot, Santa & Mrs. Claus, Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee.
64. Take a boat ride. Whether it be a row boat, a sailboat or a yacht, there is something very romantic about being out on the water with your beloved.
65. This may not seem like a romantic idea, but it is! Make a point of getting healthier together. Walk and/or exercise together; find something you both enjoy doing; dancing is fun couple exercise! Try new, healthier recipes together. Plan meals and shop together for more healthy foods.
66. Make a plan to spend an entire day (or weekend!) in bed. Have lots of snack foods, sex toys, beverages, reading material, massage lotion or massage oil, a deck of playing cards, games and DVDs. Try wearing only your vivid imaginations. Have fun!
67. Buy each other real silk pajamas. Model them for each other.Ooo-la-la!
68. A Useful and Romantic Idea: Develop hand signs and gestures that just the two of you will understand. Use them to have secret communications in public. They can mean anything: “I Love You Madly”, “Meet me in the Garage”, “You have Spinach in your Teeth”, “I Want to Tie You up and Spank you with a Feather”.
69. Select a book that you both want to read and read it out loud to each other taking turns. A book of romantic short stories can be read by alternating chapters.
70. Romantic Ideas 101: Rent and enjoy watching a romantic movie together often. Whether it's a bonafide "chick-flick" or an adventure or comedy that includes romance or even something that steams up the windows, it's ALL good. Variety. Spicy. Nice.
71. Develop your own traditions and unique rituals to celebrate your special days. (Romantic Ritual Ideas)
72. One of the best romantic ideas!! Laugh with your sweetheart at EVERY opportunity, even for NO reason! Unconditional Laughter is good for your health and magic for your relationship! (Laughter Yoga)
73. Play Sexy Truth or Dare with a twist. You get to choose to answer a personal question about sex or perform a sexy “task”. Let your imaginations Go Wild with this romantic idea!
74. Spend the day with your sweetie having a Public Transport Adventure. Take buses, trams, trains and streetcars all around your town or city. Or take a commuter train somewhere you’ve never been. Purchasing a pass may make it more economical. Either plan your route out in advance or follow your whims. Visit the sights or just cruise to the end of the line. Pack a picnic or get off and try a new restaurant.
75. Have a Millionaire Day with your beloved. Wearing your most expensive clothes, park your car well down the street and test drive a Ferrari or Mercedes. Go to expensive shops and try on clothes and jewelry. Have a realtor show you some houses. Finish the day with dessert and coffee at a really swanky place. The Universe smiles approvingly on us practicing for abundance!
76. Rent or buy roller skates and take your partner for a spin.
77. Go ice skating on a frozen lake (if you can find one). Be sure to remember the thermos of hot chocolate.
78. Go on a helicopter tour of your area with your darling. If the pilot is willing, visit your neighborhood and other romantic landmarks of your relationship. If you can get them from home and all the way to the helicopter blindfolded, then so much the better! Don’t forget the wine!
79. This is a favorite romantic idea to use when you find yourself in Central Park in New York City. When you are in any city that has horse-drawn carriages or hansom cabs, be sure to take advantage of this classic romantic outing. It is especially romantic at night when you can enjoy the sparkling city lights, and in winter when you can snuggle together under a cozy lap robe. Sip on some brandy or port.
80. In the country, take a hayride! Take two blankets with you; one to lie on and one to cover you. Bring a little bottle of schnapps or a wee dram of scotch to warm your cockles.
81. An exceedingly romantic idea and you don't even have to leave home! Set up your bedroom or your living room with dozens and dozens of candles. Spread a blanket out on the floor or a sheepskin if you have one and lots of soft cushions and pillows. Have the candles lit when your mate arrives home and a romantic movie or romantic music cued up and ready to go. If you have a fireplace, have the fire roaring. A bottle of bubbly on ice, crackers and caviar or a loaf of bread, a hunk of cheese and a nice bottle of red wine and you’re off to the races!
82. Put a jigsaw together with your love on a rainy afternoon or a snowy night. Choose a puzzle with a romantic picture on it and don’t forget the gourmet hot chocolate.
83. Browse recipes online or cookbooks at a bookstore or the library. Make plans for preparing a meal or a special food treat. The romantic part is sharing the planning, shopping and cooking. Make it even more romantic by selecting romantic recipes to make (and eat!) together..
84. Have your portrait painted or photographed. Having a romantic painting or photograph of the two of you is a treasure indeed. A perfect way to capture romantic moments and memories.
85. Shop on the internet together. Buy something romantic. Visit sites you don’t ordinarily make time for. Bookmark your favorites in a folder named, “Our Favorite Romantic Sites”. It’s a good way to plan a romantic vacation or trip and to “browse” for romantic gifts. You can always sneak back later to purchase that perfect gift for your beloved!
86. Go see some Community Theater or a High School or College production or concert; a fun and often economical romantic date idea.
87. Here is a creative romance idea: Purchase a nice blank book or scrapbook. Write your love story in it. Record all of the glorious details of your romance. Include when and how you met, when you fell in love, highlights of places you’ve visited, how you felt at different times, “in jokes” and amusing anecdotes. Add to “your story” every so often as more delicious events unfold. This will be a treasure for you to peruse in years to come.
88. Watch a sporting event together. Take me out to the ballgame or the skate park or the stadium. Whether its extreme sports or the old alma mater, remember to cheer and have a rollicking good time!
89. On a snowy winter day in the mountains, rent snowshoes or cross-country skis. Follow a trail into the quiet of the woods. Listen to the snow melting and falling from the trees. Smell the cold fresh scent of winter. Be dazzled by the sun and each other. Go back to the lodge for hot mulled wine or apple cider.
90. Have a picnic in your bedroom. Gather your supplies: red and white checked tablecloth, scented beeswax candles, and a picnic basket packed with your favorite picnic goodies: Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and milk--or-a loaf of bread, a hunk of cheese and a good bottle of red wine-or- salami, pickles, cheese, olives, crackers and cold beer-or-champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries. Fresh flowers are a nice touch but no ants allowed!
91. Go Backpacking. Pack up your knapsack get up into them thar hills! Whether it’s a weekend or a week, trekking in the wilderness with your sweetheart can be a special romantic adventure you will never forget.
92. Go Horseback-riding. Trail riding or horse-back-packing is a great way to enjoy the outdoors with your mate. Pretend it is the Wild West.
Read more: http://www.romantic-ideas-online.com/romantic-ideas-for-couples-to-share2.html#ixzz1v3r1Cyv9
Saturday, December 8, 2012
The Sex Workout
The Sex Workout
By Ian Kerner
Published November 21, 2011
FoxNews.com
A recent study published in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology found that erectile dysfunction is often an early indicator of poor cardiovascular health.
So perhaps it’s time to start “sexercising” and get in shape for love. What benefits can those sit-ups have on your bedroom performance besides making you exceptionally attractive to your partner?
“For one thing, regular workouts help keep the blood flowing, and keep the arteries producing nitric oxide, a chemical that facilitates erections and other forms of arousal. In addition, endorphins are also released, making you more relaxed and increasing your chances of sexual arousal” says Dr. Madeleine Castellanos, author of the Good in Bed Guide to Male Sexual Issues. Finally, exercise plays a major role in generating positive self-esteem, which is perhaps the most powerful sexual enhancer.
So are you sexually fit? If not, which exercises should you be doing to flex those sexual muscles?
1. Cardio. Whether you’re looking to lose weight or gain sexual stamina, a cardiovascular workout should always be a part of your regular exercise regimen. As for which workout you choose to engage in, it’s up to you. They can all have a positive impact on your sex life (and your waistline). So train for a marathon. Do a daily power walk. Start swimming laps. All of these activities will boost your endorphin levels. Even dancing can count as a cardio activity. So take a salsa or swing class with your partner and consider it foreplay.
2. Weight Training. If you’re looking to release more testosterone — and, by extension, improve your sex drive — consider implementing a weight lifting program. Include sets that incorporate full squats. The use of so many muscle fibers will maximize the testosterone release. Other compound movement lifts can also carry the same benefit. So when you’re drawing up your program, include bench presses, the bent-over row, the stiff-legged dead lift, lunges, shoulder presses, back squats, and pull-ups.
3. Pelvic Floor Exercises. It’s commonly known that flexing your kegels will improve your sex life. But are there fitness classes that will work your pelvic floor as well? Some people claim to experience “yogasms,” orgasms experienced as a result of yoga. And women aren’t the only ones seeing benefits.
Yoga requires that you regularly engage the mula bhanda, or the muscles of the perineum. These benefits can be found in the poses inherent in any form of yoga, but Kundalini yoga in particular has been shown to have tantric benefits, especially if you perform the poses with a partner. Some poses that are especially beneficial when performed with a partner are the sacred embrace, downward facing dog, side plank, and camel. Not only do these poses improve your flexibility but, as with those dance classes, they involve a lot of eye contact and non-sexual touching, making them another high-value form of foreplay.
Of course, you can continue to do your kegels as well, wherever you are. Just flex your muscles down there — the same ones that stop the flow of urine — three times a day, 25 repetitions each time. Squeeze the muscles, hold for a few seconds, and then relax.
Having a solid exercise regimen is obviously necessary for your health and overall well-being. But doesn’t it help you get off the couch just knowing that it will improve your game in the bedroom, too?
Ian Kerner is a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author of numerous books. He is the founder of GoodInBed.com
Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/health/
Source: http://www.foxnews.com/health/
Article: Yes, Dear. Tonight Again - couple have sex for 365 nights to improve marriage
June 8, 2008
Yes, Dear. Tonight Again.
By RALPH GARDNER Jr.
LET'S say you and your spouse haven't had sex in so long that you can't remember the last time you did. Not the day. Not the month. Maybe not even the season. Would you look for gratification elsewhere? Would you file for divorce? Or would you turn to your mate and say, "Honey, you know, I've been thinking. Why don't we do it for the next 365 days in a row?"
That's more or less what happened to Charla and Brad Muller. And in another example of an erotic adventure supplanting married ennui, a second couple, Annie and Douglas Brown, embarked on a similar, if abbreviated journey: 101 straight days of post-nuptial sex.
Both couples document their exploits in books published this month, the latest entries in what is almost a mini-genre of books offering advice about the "sex-starved marriage." The couples, though, are hardly similar. The Mullers are Bible-studying steak-eating Republicans from Charlotte, N.C. The Browns are backpacking multigrain northerners who moved to Boulder, Colo. The Mullers' book, "365 Nights," is rather modest and circumspect in its details. The Browns' book, "Just Do It," almost makes the reader feel part of a threesome, sharing everything they used to stimulate sexual desire (it's hard to visualize and even harder to explain).
To many spouses, "married sex" may sound like an oxymoron. And "married-with-children sex" may sound like that elusive antimatter. Indeed, reigniting a couple's desire for each other has fueled an entire therapeutic industry — from Kinsey to Dr. Ruth to Redbook. According to a 2004 study, "American Sexual Behavior," by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago, married couples have intercourse about 66 times a year. But that number is skewed by young marrieds, as young as 18, who couple, on average, 84 times a year.
Either way, those statistics put the Mullers and Browns in Olympic-record territory. That they thought a sex marathon would reinvigorate their marriages might say as much about the American penchant for exercise and goal-setting as it does about the state of romance.
But the couples may also be on to something. "There's a strong relationship between rating your marriage as happy and frequency of intercourse," said Tom W. Smith, who conducted the "American Sexual Behavior" study. "What we can't tell you is what the causal relationship is between the two. We don't know whether people who are happy in their marriage have sex more, or whether people who have sex more become happy in their marriages, or a combination of those two."
Do these couples provide any answers? Did sex every single night make them happier in their marriages and in life?
Charla apparently had no intention of writing about "the gift," as she euphemistically refers to it. She was simply a homemaker and marketing consultant, who in 2006 wanted to give her husband a special 40th birthday present.
"This is something no one else would give him," she said in an interview. "It didn't cost a lot of money. It was highly memorable. It met all the criteria for a really great gift."
Brad was less than fully enthusiastic, mostly because, he says, his wife often has big ideas and poor follow-through. After all, she hadn't been especially generous in that department since they'd had their two children. He paid closer attention when he realized that she was serious.
The book idea came up serendipitously. Charla had lunch with a friend, Betsy Thorpe, a former book editor and her eventual collaborator, who had relocated to Charlotte. She saw the stuff of literature in the couple's nightly trysts (the women met three-quarters of the way through the Mullers' annus mirabilis).
While "365 Nights" was written from the women's perspective, "Just Do It" was written by the guy, Douglas Brown, a 42-year-old reporter at The Denver Post. Yet the change in gender doesn't seem to affect the point of view, perhaps because Doug comes across as a sensitive male, and because the sexual marathon in 2006 was his wife's idea, a way to banish suburban boredom after they moved to Boulder two years earlier from the East Coast.
"I thought we don't have anything else going on," Annie said in an interview. "It might kick-start our marriage."
They changed venues frequently — a cabin on an ashram, a yurt in the Colorado Rockies, and in a hotel room in Las Vegas, where Doug was covering the annual adult-entertainment industry convention. "That's why we scheduled all these little trips," Annie said. "We knew it had the potential of getting monotonous."
And were it not for her competitive zeal, their streak might have died well short of 100 days. Annie even forced her husband to have sex during a bout of vertigo. "I'm not a quitter,' she said. "The night he had vertigo, I said, 'I'm sorry, guy, but you've got to keep going.' "
Doug said in an interview that on their 101st day, he felt "sort of like you had some long-forgotten appointment to hear some tax attorney talk about estate planning."
After that, he said, "I think we didn't do it for a month."
The Mullers, or at least Charla, hit a wall somewhere around the 10th month. In her book, she describes the gift then as "my stupid idea" and "a hidden cross to bear." But they say they dropped out only a few days a month, mostly because of Brad's business travel. They averaged 26 to 28 times a month.
"The spirit of the gift was not to keep score," Ms. Muller said. "When he was traveling, we tried to make up for it, but it wasn't mandatory."
The women are regarded with admiration, if not always envy, by their girlfriends. "My first reaction was please don't tell my husband," said Sydney Coffin, a friend of Charla's.
Annie Brown is now viewed as a de facto sex therapist by her peers. Her adventure even inspired her friend Diane Elliston to turn off the television in the bedroom. (The Browns had draped tasteful fabric over theirs.)
"We did it every day for three days in a row," Ms. Elliston said.
APPROACHING sex as a marathon, with its own version of Heartbreak Hill, may not be the solution for every stagnating marriage. Lois Braverman, the president of the Ackerman Institute for the Family, cautioned against couples trying to keep up with the Mullers and Browns. "Some couples are totally satisfied with being sexual one night a week, some twice, some twice a month," she said. "There's no number of times that's right."
Shoshana Bulow, a psychotherapist and certified sex therapist in Manhattan, pointed out that sex is a lot more complicated than frequency. "There's all sorts of reasons people lose interest in sex with their partner — disappointments, life cycles, financial issues," she said. "Just having it isn't going to resolve those."
Nonetheless, sex every day seems to have worked for the Mullers and Browns. Charla Muller and Annie Brown both talk about how mandated physical intimacy created more emotional intimacy. "It required a daily kindness and forgiveness, and not being cranky or snarky, that I don't think either of us had experienced before," Charla said.
Annie said that she and her husband reached a place in their relationship that they have seldom approached since. "It was just this intense closeness," she said. "We were so aware of wherever the other person was mentally and emotionally and physically."
Today, the Browns report they have sex approximately six times a month, or double their frequency before their adventure. The Mullers decline to discuss their habits, except to say that they fall well within the national average. And, Brad said, the sex is better. "It made it much easier to be open to the idea, more spontaneous," he said, "So you don't go back to that always gaming for it and always trying to get out of it."
Charla agrees: "It's a lot better than it used to be. I may be slow to the take, but it was a really meaningful lesson."
Douglas Brown suffers less stage fright than he once did. "There's much less of a sense of having to perform," he said. "After 100 days, that kind of melted away."
All the same, he doesn't recommend the experience to everyone.
"I'm glad we did it," he said. "But as far as a practical message, nobody needs to do it 100 days. You don't have to climb Mount Everest to understand alpine sublime."
Yes, Dear. Tonight Again.
By RALPH GARDNER Jr.
LET'S say you and your spouse haven't had sex in so long that you can't remember the last time you did. Not the day. Not the month. Maybe not even the season. Would you look for gratification elsewhere? Would you file for divorce? Or would you turn to your mate and say, "Honey, you know, I've been thinking. Why don't we do it for the next 365 days in a row?"
That's more or less what happened to Charla and Brad Muller. And in another example of an erotic adventure supplanting married ennui, a second couple, Annie and Douglas Brown, embarked on a similar, if abbreviated journey: 101 straight days of post-nuptial sex.
Both couples document their exploits in books published this month, the latest entries in what is almost a mini-genre of books offering advice about the "sex-starved marriage." The couples, though, are hardly similar. The Mullers are Bible-studying steak-eating Republicans from Charlotte, N.C. The Browns are backpacking multigrain northerners who moved to Boulder, Colo. The Mullers' book, "365 Nights," is rather modest and circumspect in its details. The Browns' book, "Just Do It," almost makes the reader feel part of a threesome, sharing everything they used to stimulate sexual desire (it's hard to visualize and even harder to explain).
To many spouses, "married sex" may sound like an oxymoron. And "married-with-children sex" may sound like that elusive antimatter. Indeed, reigniting a couple's desire for each other has fueled an entire therapeutic industry — from Kinsey to Dr. Ruth to Redbook. According to a 2004 study, "American Sexual Behavior," by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago, married couples have intercourse about 66 times a year. But that number is skewed by young marrieds, as young as 18, who couple, on average, 84 times a year.
Either way, those statistics put the Mullers and Browns in Olympic-record territory. That they thought a sex marathon would reinvigorate their marriages might say as much about the American penchant for exercise and goal-setting as it does about the state of romance.
But the couples may also be on to something. "There's a strong relationship between rating your marriage as happy and frequency of intercourse," said Tom W. Smith, who conducted the "American Sexual Behavior" study. "What we can't tell you is what the causal relationship is between the two. We don't know whether people who are happy in their marriage have sex more, or whether people who have sex more become happy in their marriages, or a combination of those two."
Do these couples provide any answers? Did sex every single night make them happier in their marriages and in life?
Charla apparently had no intention of writing about "the gift," as she euphemistically refers to it. She was simply a homemaker and marketing consultant, who in 2006 wanted to give her husband a special 40th birthday present.
"This is something no one else would give him," she said in an interview. "It didn't cost a lot of money. It was highly memorable. It met all the criteria for a really great gift."
Brad was less than fully enthusiastic, mostly because, he says, his wife often has big ideas and poor follow-through. After all, she hadn't been especially generous in that department since they'd had their two children. He paid closer attention when he realized that she was serious.
The book idea came up serendipitously. Charla had lunch with a friend, Betsy Thorpe, a former book editor and her eventual collaborator, who had relocated to Charlotte. She saw the stuff of literature in the couple's nightly trysts (the women met three-quarters of the way through the Mullers' annus mirabilis).
While "365 Nights" was written from the women's perspective, "Just Do It" was written by the guy, Douglas Brown, a 42-year-old reporter at The Denver Post. Yet the change in gender doesn't seem to affect the point of view, perhaps because Doug comes across as a sensitive male, and because the sexual marathon in 2006 was his wife's idea, a way to banish suburban boredom after they moved to Boulder two years earlier from the East Coast.
"I thought we don't have anything else going on," Annie said in an interview. "It might kick-start our marriage."
They changed venues frequently — a cabin on an ashram, a yurt in the Colorado Rockies, and in a hotel room in Las Vegas, where Doug was covering the annual adult-entertainment industry convention. "That's why we scheduled all these little trips," Annie said. "We knew it had the potential of getting monotonous."
And were it not for her competitive zeal, their streak might have died well short of 100 days. Annie even forced her husband to have sex during a bout of vertigo. "I'm not a quitter,' she said. "The night he had vertigo, I said, 'I'm sorry, guy, but you've got to keep going.' "
Doug said in an interview that on their 101st day, he felt "sort of like you had some long-forgotten appointment to hear some tax attorney talk about estate planning."
After that, he said, "I think we didn't do it for a month."
The Mullers, or at least Charla, hit a wall somewhere around the 10th month. In her book, she describes the gift then as "my stupid idea" and "a hidden cross to bear." But they say they dropped out only a few days a month, mostly because of Brad's business travel. They averaged 26 to 28 times a month.
"The spirit of the gift was not to keep score," Ms. Muller said. "When he was traveling, we tried to make up for it, but it wasn't mandatory."
The women are regarded with admiration, if not always envy, by their girlfriends. "My first reaction was please don't tell my husband," said Sydney Coffin, a friend of Charla's.
Annie Brown is now viewed as a de facto sex therapist by her peers. Her adventure even inspired her friend Diane Elliston to turn off the television in the bedroom. (The Browns had draped tasteful fabric over theirs.)
"We did it every day for three days in a row," Ms. Elliston said.
APPROACHING sex as a marathon, with its own version of Heartbreak Hill, may not be the solution for every stagnating marriage. Lois Braverman, the president of the Ackerman Institute for the Family, cautioned against couples trying to keep up with the Mullers and Browns. "Some couples are totally satisfied with being sexual one night a week, some twice, some twice a month," she said. "There's no number of times that's right."
Shoshana Bulow, a psychotherapist and certified sex therapist in Manhattan, pointed out that sex is a lot more complicated than frequency. "There's all sorts of reasons people lose interest in sex with their partner — disappointments, life cycles, financial issues," she said. "Just having it isn't going to resolve those."
Nonetheless, sex every day seems to have worked for the Mullers and Browns. Charla Muller and Annie Brown both talk about how mandated physical intimacy created more emotional intimacy. "It required a daily kindness and forgiveness, and not being cranky or snarky, that I don't think either of us had experienced before," Charla said.
Annie said that she and her husband reached a place in their relationship that they have seldom approached since. "It was just this intense closeness," she said. "We were so aware of wherever the other person was mentally and emotionally and physically."
Today, the Browns report they have sex approximately six times a month, or double their frequency before their adventure. The Mullers decline to discuss their habits, except to say that they fall well within the national average. And, Brad said, the sex is better. "It made it much easier to be open to the idea, more spontaneous," he said, "So you don't go back to that always gaming for it and always trying to get out of it."
Charla agrees: "It's a lot better than it used to be. I may be slow to the take, but it was a really meaningful lesson."
Douglas Brown suffers less stage fright than he once did. "There's much less of a sense of having to perform," he said. "After 100 days, that kind of melted away."
All the same, he doesn't recommend the experience to everyone.
"I'm glad we did it," he said. "But as far as a practical message, nobody needs to do it 100 days. You don't have to climb Mount Everest to understand alpine sublime."
-Leo Woman, Taurus Man-
----------------Leo Woman, Taurus Man----------------
In a love association of Taurus and Leo, each one of them tends to hold on to the relationship strongly. Usually this relationship lasts longer than many others as both of them value loyalty and devotion, and both of them are very capable of giving it to one another.
A Taurus man is basically a calm and composed man who is always ready to take up responsibilities and fulfill his duties with determinations. The hardworking Taurus male believes in reality and is almost always sensible and the even-tempered. He can show brute force and aggression when angered, but this is rare. In a relationship, he needs constant loyalty and affection to assure him that he is being loved and appreciated. Taurus feels comfortable with stability and with that comes modesty and reservation in everything he does. But he is stubborn and his plans and ambitions cannot change for anyone including his lady love.
A Leo woman is a very generous and sophisticated woman with all the beauties of female in her aura. She is a born leader and usually walks smoothly in her surroundings if things are according to her will and needs. She always wants to be on top, in power and in control and also takes full credit on something she only had a minor part in. In a relationship, she feels love and admiration through the constant need of praise and compliments. She respects her Taurus man but at the same time expects same kind of respect from his side.
A Leo woman always makes a proud mate for a Taurus man who loves to admire and care for his lady fair. She upholds the traditional beliefs with determination and clings persistently and with extreme sincerity to these beliefs. She takes pleasure in protecting and showering him with gifts of affection. Since she has quite similar loyalty this makes for warm friendliness and interest causing him to feel content, secure and cared for. She always stands by his side and makes him feel proud of both his and her own progress. She is warm enough to always keep him happy in the relationship. But Leo woman, being the possessor and leader always tends to impose on Taurus man’s loyalty and patience. This can create tiffs and worries among them.
The Taurus man is slow and cautious, disciplined and practical. He has tremendous willpower and self-discipline and keeping it true to the old traditional methods and self reward from personal efforts rather than relying on others to reach his goals. He is one person who makes his Leo female feel great about both in personal and professional life. He fulfills all her financial needs and together with it showers her with a lot of love, praise and devotions woven with thick blankets of care and compassion that she deeply cherishes. She depends on the stable and calm Taurus male to deal with a situation in her life and usually surrenders herself completely in love, but that is just emotionally and not loosing her authority to anyone. However, this loving attitude of Taurus man comes together with his stubbornness and his own authoritative mind where he does not allow anyone to dictate him.
With the grace of love bestowed on the Taurus man and Leo woman, they start listening to each others’ silent and pleading hearts that makes him understand that she only needs love and undivided attention and she realizes that her man craves only for loyalty and devotion. As their relationship strengthens they both become enormously capable of giving and receiving love and making each other feel special in every possible way. As they both walk the path of love with sweet songs welcoming their charming personalities and angels admiring their love, they lose themselves in each other to feels complete in all forms of life and spirits. Their oneness is blessed by Nature and they are such unison of devotion and passion that they actually need no one else once they are together.
The sexual intimacy of Taurus man and Leo woman is one of a kind. He has a very deep and rich taste of sensuality while she has a very strong and passionate flavor of sexuality. He is deeply romantic with his passionate Leo female and is vulnerable to even her sound and scent which stimulates his deep physical desires and make their love making a very fulfilling and pleasurable experience. Both have high demands in the sexual relationship and though his love making is unimaginative but still it is intense and firm enough to make his damsel feel satisfied as a return of which he receives her most royal favors. They both achieve sexual harmony once they are sure of each others’ loyalty and devotion which they usually experience the most through their physical intimacy. There is always an excitement in their physical relationship and they both adore the ways in which they give physical tokens of love to each other making their relationship stronger and more intimate with each passing day. Deep down, Taurus craves all the physical and emotional attention and assurance in the world, yet he does not know how to express this to a lover out loud. The Leo woman is exactly the type to fulfill all of his unspoken desires. She is a wild lioness in bed and is happy to explore all of the physical aspects of sex with him without hesitation, making it a supremely sensual experience.
Being similar in certain areas causes frustration in the relationship of Taurus man and Leo woman. Both feel the need to accept, praise, affection and pats on the head to continuously feel treasured. He needs love and affection, but the self-centered Leo woman is not about to devote herself to such lunacy. She, in turn, craves the same thing but he is stubborn enough to not show any affection if he, himself in not satisfied in the relationship. The last and most important thing he wants is his personal glory and so he rebels against her authoritative attitude. Leo woman’s arrogance against — Taurus man’s stubborn , don’t care attitude — creates the biggest problem in this relationship, but if each is patient and shows a bit of self-sacrifice, their reward will be extreme and harmony will be bestowed.
Source: http://www.ask-oracle.com/sign-compatibility/taurus-man-leo-woman/
In a love association of Taurus and Leo, each one of them tends to hold on to the relationship strongly. Usually this relationship lasts longer than many others as both of them value loyalty and devotion, and both of them are very capable of giving it to one another.
A Taurus man is basically a calm and composed man who is always ready to take up responsibilities and fulfill his duties with determinations. The hardworking Taurus male believes in reality and is almost always sensible and the even-tempered. He can show brute force and aggression when angered, but this is rare. In a relationship, he needs constant loyalty and affection to assure him that he is being loved and appreciated. Taurus feels comfortable with stability and with that comes modesty and reservation in everything he does. But he is stubborn and his plans and ambitions cannot change for anyone including his lady love.
A Leo woman is a very generous and sophisticated woman with all the beauties of female in her aura. She is a born leader and usually walks smoothly in her surroundings if things are according to her will and needs. She always wants to be on top, in power and in control and also takes full credit on something she only had a minor part in. In a relationship, she feels love and admiration through the constant need of praise and compliments. She respects her Taurus man but at the same time expects same kind of respect from his side.
A Leo woman always makes a proud mate for a Taurus man who loves to admire and care for his lady fair. She upholds the traditional beliefs with determination and clings persistently and with extreme sincerity to these beliefs. She takes pleasure in protecting and showering him with gifts of affection. Since she has quite similar loyalty this makes for warm friendliness and interest causing him to feel content, secure and cared for. She always stands by his side and makes him feel proud of both his and her own progress. She is warm enough to always keep him happy in the relationship. But Leo woman, being the possessor and leader always tends to impose on Taurus man’s loyalty and patience. This can create tiffs and worries among them.
The Taurus man is slow and cautious, disciplined and practical. He has tremendous willpower and self-discipline and keeping it true to the old traditional methods and self reward from personal efforts rather than relying on others to reach his goals. He is one person who makes his Leo female feel great about both in personal and professional life. He fulfills all her financial needs and together with it showers her with a lot of love, praise and devotions woven with thick blankets of care and compassion that she deeply cherishes. She depends on the stable and calm Taurus male to deal with a situation in her life and usually surrenders herself completely in love, but that is just emotionally and not loosing her authority to anyone. However, this loving attitude of Taurus man comes together with his stubbornness and his own authoritative mind where he does not allow anyone to dictate him.
With the grace of love bestowed on the Taurus man and Leo woman, they start listening to each others’ silent and pleading hearts that makes him understand that she only needs love and undivided attention and she realizes that her man craves only for loyalty and devotion. As their relationship strengthens they both become enormously capable of giving and receiving love and making each other feel special in every possible way. As they both walk the path of love with sweet songs welcoming their charming personalities and angels admiring their love, they lose themselves in each other to feels complete in all forms of life and spirits. Their oneness is blessed by Nature and they are such unison of devotion and passion that they actually need no one else once they are together.
The sexual intimacy of Taurus man and Leo woman is one of a kind. He has a very deep and rich taste of sensuality while she has a very strong and passionate flavor of sexuality. He is deeply romantic with his passionate Leo female and is vulnerable to even her sound and scent which stimulates his deep physical desires and make their love making a very fulfilling and pleasurable experience. Both have high demands in the sexual relationship and though his love making is unimaginative but still it is intense and firm enough to make his damsel feel satisfied as a return of which he receives her most royal favors. They both achieve sexual harmony once they are sure of each others’ loyalty and devotion which they usually experience the most through their physical intimacy. There is always an excitement in their physical relationship and they both adore the ways in which they give physical tokens of love to each other making their relationship stronger and more intimate with each passing day. Deep down, Taurus craves all the physical and emotional attention and assurance in the world, yet he does not know how to express this to a lover out loud. The Leo woman is exactly the type to fulfill all of his unspoken desires. She is a wild lioness in bed and is happy to explore all of the physical aspects of sex with him without hesitation, making it a supremely sensual experience.
Being similar in certain areas causes frustration in the relationship of Taurus man and Leo woman. Both feel the need to accept, praise, affection and pats on the head to continuously feel treasured. He needs love and affection, but the self-centered Leo woman is not about to devote herself to such lunacy. She, in turn, craves the same thing but he is stubborn enough to not show any affection if he, himself in not satisfied in the relationship. The last and most important thing he wants is his personal glory and so he rebels against her authoritative attitude. Leo woman’s arrogance against — Taurus man’s stubborn , don’t care attitude — creates the biggest problem in this relationship, but if each is patient and shows a bit of self-sacrifice, their reward will be extreme and harmony will be bestowed.
Source: http://www.ask-oracle.com/sign-compatibility/taurus-man-leo-woman/
5 First Dates for Less Than $20
Newly on the prowl? You’re in luck: U.S. singles are going on more dates than singles in any other country, according to an international survey of 3,000 people from Match.com.
Seventy-seven percent of stags in the U.S. have gone on two or more dates within the past year—more than those from the U.K., Australia, Japan, France, and Canada.
So let’s say you’re ready to spend more of your nights out on the town, but your arsenal of creative first-date ideas is empty. Fear not. We enlisted the help of Tracey Steinberg, a NYC-based dating and flirting expert, to come up with five fresh plans that’ll win you the girl and run you less than $20 a pop. (And for more must-have dating and sex advice, sign up for The Girl Next Door newsletter. It’s FREE!)
Coffee date? Smooth move, man.
1. Get Your Sideways OnA good rule of thumb for first dates: Rather than make dinner reservations and take her to an event, make the location of the date the event itself, says Steinberg. “This is why wine tasting is such a successful first-date go-to,” she says. Who needs to drop a couple fifties on a bottle of top-notch vino when you can taste multiple selections for few bucks?
2. Think Pub, Not ClubYou don’t need to take her out to a loud, raging bar to show her a good time. Instead, bring her to one of your favorite dive bars, grab a pitcher of beer, and challenge her to a game of pool, suggests Steinberg. “There’s something sexy about keeping the date simple, but intimate,” says Steinberg. Having that playful one-on-one time at one of your favorite spots makes for a more relaxed atmosphere. (If things start to go well and she heads back to you place, be well prepared with The Men’s Health Big Book of Sex.)
MORE USEFUL STUFF
3. Head OutdoorsSure, movies can be nice. But instead of sitting in a crowded, dark room full of strangers, take advantage of the weather, Steinberg says. If the sun is shining and the temp’s in triple digits, pick up a cold six pack and head for the lake. When the leaves start to change this fall, take her apple picking or venture to the local pumpkin patch for a hayride and some cider. And when it’s cold and snowy out, fill up a thermos with hot chocolate and hit the ice rink.
4. Go Ahead, Be a ClichéYour date ultimately wants to see that you put in the effort to make her feel special for the day. So if you don’t mind a little romance, nothing’s more charming than rounding up wine, fruit, and cheese for an evening sunset session, Steinberg says. (Need a good cheap bottle to get things started? Check out our list of 10 Reds Under $15.)
5. Play Up Her InterestsWant to plan the ultimate night out? Do your homework first, suggests Steinberg. If you met her online, scan her dating profile and social networks to really zero in on her interests. Then, make your move. Is she a foodie? Schedule a cook-off at your place, invite your buddies over, and have everyone bring a dish. That way, you can use your prep time to be alone with her before the competition starts.
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